Misery in disappointment

Life’s full of disappointments. Who knows where it really comes from? Who knows exactly what were disappointed about?

Life’s full of disappointments. It could be something big like a promise or an event you were looking forward to, it could be something small like a canceled date or failing a test you studied for, but other times its silent disappointment; the one we hold inside our heart and keep to ourselves. 

Life’s full of disappointments. Disappointed by a new food experience, or disappointed in a family member, a friend, a lover, but mostly in ourself. We raise our expectations to a certain level and wonder why we end up feeling hurt.

Life’s full of disappointments. From opportunities we missed, moments we shouldn’t have taken for granted and wasted effort.

Life’s full of disappointments. I’m sure of it. But that’s not what my life is about and it’s definitely not what my night/day will be about. 

Life’s full of disappointments. And sometimes it gets hard to see past that, sometimes it just makes you want to give up.

Life’s full of disappointments but these disappointments don’t define life.

Just because

I love you because youre kind, you can never hold a grudge the way I do.

I love you because youre intelligent, really I’m amazed by how much knowledge is stored in your brain. You might not think so but to me you’re the smartest person I know.

I love you because of the way your hands easily find its way into my skirt. into my hand. The way your cold hands turn warm once they’ve settled into mine. The way you hold me in your embrace and trace your fingers on my underwear around my face.

 

I love you because youre so into music; how your face lights up when you hear familiar music and know exactly the album, year and artist. Sometimes I wish I was one of your favorite songs. A song that would always automatically light up your face. A song that would make you want to listen to all day for days and never get tired of. You could have my lines memorized and hum me whenever you feel alone so silence isn’t all you hear.

I love you because youre the only person I’ve ever trusted so much with my heart. You can break it, smash it, do anything and everything you want with it but it would  still only beat for you.

I love you simply because no one has ever made me feel the way you do. Because believe it or not, you taught me how to love. I love you dearly, fiercely, and passionately. There has to be a new phrase out there because I think I love you is becoming an understatement. 

I want nothing more than to make you happy and keep you happy. To help you understand that you are not any of those bad thoughts inside your head. And to remind you that you don’t have to fight those demons alone. I am here and I will always be here, even when we’re not in good terms. But I also want you to remember that I’m only human, I’m not strong enough to fight off both our demons and when the time comes, when I push you away, push me harder but be gentle with me. I can be almost as hard-headed as you sometimes, but I’ll come around eventually, just be patient with me and with yourself. I cannot teach you how to love yourself, or how to love me. All I have to offer is love and there will be times when it seems like that won’t suffice, don’t give up.