Challenge

How do you keep loving someone who doesn’t even see their own worth?

I’m getting tired of this. You can’t keep blaming yourself. And you’ve got to help yourself too. I hate when you overthink, and you tell me about it just when I think things are back to normal with us. It makes me feel lied to for some reason. Like if something is still bothering you then tell me about it right away, don’t wait for like 2 days after we’ve actually already talked about it. It’s so frustrating to think one thing and then it turns out you’re thinking of something else. It’s almost as frustrating as not knowing why you’re feeling the way you do. The things you think about make me over think too, okay? Stop acting all helpless about it and help yourself. 

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Suffocate me

Hold me tight
So tight that I may not feel anything
But the weight of your skin
Pressed gently and lovingly into mine

Hold me tight
So tight that the only thing in my mind
Will be when I can hold you as tight
And suffocate you with my bear hug

Hold me tight
So tight that it takes away everything;
From pain to sadness to stress
Everything but you.

Hold on to me tight
When l slip away from myself
Hide me under that heart of yours
And tuck me in safely with your words

All I ask is for you
To hold on to me tight
Let me feel your warmth
Through this lonely night

Send me your words of love
Even when you’re not in sight
Because you, my love,
You make things right.

Less cynical

Although I don’t think about it often,
It scares me to know
I might have to lose you one day
and not know when that day will be
or how it would happen
and why it should.
Because I can’t see
and I don’t want to see
anything better than
what we have now.

Emotion sickness

What am I doing wrong?

It’s always around this time during a relationship that things feel like they’re starting to fall apart. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or what I’m not doing. It feels like history is repeating itself again. Same mistakes, different person.

But this is a relationship I refuse to give up on. I keep hearing, “stop focusing on what could go wrong and think of all the things that could go right.” It’s about time I listen to that advice.

I call this “my sickness”
Symptoms include:
-Aloof behavior
-Shift of moods
-More fights
-Feeling of boredom and irritability
-Frustration anxiety
-Frequent Overthinking
-Caring less

Cure:
-Don’t give up right away
-Try harder
-Think positive
-Don’t hold grudges
-Stop overthinking as soon as it starts
-Just love.

My love

Dear love,
I don’t know how you came to be and why God sent you to me. I am only making my way step by step and learning from every fall, understanding every rocky road we go through.

I must say that there is no feeling in the world that can compare to loving someone and being loved in return. You consume me; my every thought from the moment I wake up to the last thought of the night is you, my body leads me to you, my heart contracts with so much rhythm that it dances to the sound of you, my soul cannot bear the thought of being away from you.

Dear luv,
I don’t know how all this happened and why it is happening. Frankly I don’t need to understand it because I feel it and that is pretty much self-explanatory.

I must say that loving you became easier as time went by and your walls came down for me. I must also admit that loving you and staying in love with you is a maze that I refuse to give up on. I will keep running away from these thoughts I’ve been having; the only ones that put us in danger and as I continue running, I will eventually be weary but I will not allow myself to be weary of you. I will exhaust these demons from my thoughts until they are so far away that this maze I’m in will quickly unravel into a field.

A field of sunflowers, your favorite. And you right in the middle, waiting for me to jump into your arms, waiting for me to come home to you. You, my favorite.

Seal the deal

“Yes.” “Okay.” “Of course.” “I will.” “I do.”
It’s hard to believe that those simple words have the power to seal a deal, to commit. I mean, why couldn’t it be some code you’d have to memorize so not everyone can get in it so easily? Or a really long and difficult word to pronounce so you have to really know and be sure before you get into it.

I can’t remember how and when I just started to get anxious about commitment. Even the word itself sends shivers down my spine.

I can’t even imagine myself being married to one person for the rest of my life! How do you keep the spark alive? How so you stay in love? How do you not get tired of the person? Or bored??

I feel like I can’t commit because I’m just scared, I don’t trust myself because I know in the end I’m the one who will hurt the person. I would never, I could never allow myself to get hurt. And it sucks because it feels like I’m actually running from what I want.

What I want is to stay happy, to feel alive, to be myself. And I am all of these things with the person I’m with right now. I like how we are because it already feels normal, safe and comfortable. And if I were to take a step further, to seal the deal, I feel like I would just ruin it.

It’s a fight against myself and all I want to do is run away from it.

I know I’m overthinking all this, probably because it frustrates me that I could feel this way and want the opposite at the same time, and also probably because I want to take a damn risk chance on this already.

Note to self: If you’re crazy about something, let it consume you. Let it swallow you alive and turn your insides out. Let it remind you that you cannot repeat things in life and that this feeling may never come back. Let it make you feel like you matter, because you do. Let it make you feel infinite, even if it is temporary. Let it make you glad to be alive. Otherwise, if you don’t, it would just be a waste of your youth.