Looking back

I’ve been reading most of my posts here for the past couple of minutes. I realized how much things have changed, how much I’ve changed and how important typing all my feels down actually is. Helps me remember the good, learn from the bad, and appreciate the present.

I haven’t posted anything since 2 months ago, which just proves how busy I am with my life and/or lazy I’ve been feeling. It’s like I want to type every important event of my life and how I feel when I feel it but then something just distracts me. I guess the thought of running out of words just prevent me from updating this. 

In the past 2 months, I have definitely experienced A LOT of emotions. The new year celebration was great, part of it was a bit of a dull and sad because it practically started off with tears of misunderstanding with the guy I’ve been talking about lately. Oh and this guy, still not my boy friend as of the moment but you could say things are getting serious. We’ve been going through a roller coaster ride but so far still so good. Every time I think about committing to him though, it kind of just freaks me out. It’s such a huge promise to make and I fear I might not be able to fulfill my end of the bargain. I know I can’t keep him up to his feet forever, neither can I bare the idea of friends, family and even strangers asking about our relationship status when we don’t even really have one all because I have commitment issues. I know all he wants is for me to make this promise, to know that I won’t wake up one day and just stop loving him and I do want to be able to give it to him, but I can’t make a promise I don’t even believe in. Right?


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